Post-natal depression
There is a myth that motherhood is always wonderful, and that all other mothers cope magnificently. Unfortunately, there is a stigma attached to not coping, and mothers are reluctant to say when things are not going well.
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Children who are different
9-year old James says homework’s too hard. However, his teachers say that he’s very intelligent, so how can it be too hard? James picks through his food and takes longer than others. He seems “hyped up”, unable to settle down, and it’s late before he finishes his evening routines and goes to sleep. His parents worry that “he’s not achieving his potential”, “he doesn’t have many friends, or can’t maintain his friendships”, “he just doesn’t listen”, and there are arguments and temper outbursts.
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Problem drinking
While many people drink alcohol moderately, there are many others who drink in a problematic way. At the more severe end of drinking behavior is alcohol dependence, a term which covers those who experience symptoms including loss of control over amounts and frequency of drinking, and increasing preoccupation so that drinking takes up a large amount of the person’s time.
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Confusing “fight or flight” with anger
When human beings think they’re in danger, they react with either ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. These reactions are hard-wired in us, but we all respond differently. A child’s behavior when he is anxious or worried may be in the ‘fight’ mode, with disruptive, oppositional, explosive, angry, or a melt-down – trying to overcome the source of the fear by force.
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Adult social anxiety
Most of us at some point may feel self-conscious and anxious during social situations. Perhaps when talking to someone who appears very confident or to the good-looking person at the local coffee shop. However, some people can experience continuous self-consciousness and anxiety before and during social interactions.
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10 Commandments for separated parents
1. You will recognize the child’s right to a positive relationship with both parents, and will not badmouth the other parent in the child’s hearing. You will not make remarks or facial expressions that suggest that the other parent is not a worthwhile person.
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Suicide and grief
In New Zealand about 500 people are lost due to suicide every year. If we estimate that for each death, at least 6 others are closely impacted, we are seeing, each year, a minimum of 3,000 additional people affected.
Loss affects everyone. However, for some, loss is grievous and a death by suicide may fall into this category. Those left behind can find themselves toppled into a desperate search to make sense of the loss and find meaning.
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Thinking about puberty
A lot has been said recently about the difficulties adolescents face because the self-control functions of their brains can’t keep pace with their biological drives to explore the world and experiment, resulting in risky behaviours.
Bewilderment about adolescent disorganization and the apparent loss of self-control exists partly because parents and teachers assume that children’s thinking ability improves consistently across the transition from childhood to adolescence. That’s not how it is.
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